Starring: Jeffrey Falcon
Justin McGuire
Stephane Gauger
The Red Elvises
I'm sorry but I just can't. I can't do it. I can't finish this damn movie. I've seriously tried but I keep falling asleep. With nothing to glue this haphazardly written Buddy Holly samurai epic together other than coolness for coolness sake and The Red Elvises, this film can be thrown away in the pile of snap bracelets and bands on compilation discs that nobody's heard of that you thought were cool in the 8th grade.
I know I shouldn't say a damn thing until I actually finish watching the movie, and one day I will, but I really don't think the last forty minutes are going to compensate for the first sixty. I suppose I owe it to somebody to actually complete the viewing; that is if my eyeballs haven't recessed back into their cavities from over exposure to nonsense. The next time you see me I might have two large apertures where my peepers used to be and I'll be shaking my finger in a reproaching manner. Point me towards Lance Mungia so I can kick him in the ass.
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